The Big Fat Librarian

Hmmm…

buckbeakthehippogriff — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:43:49 +0000

Okay… some my first week at weight loss kind of faltered… however, that doesn’t mean I give up, just that I need to try harder in the coming week. I want to commit to this… its just a hard transition for someone with so many bad habits. Anyway… starting on Monday (two bdays this weekend seems like a bad idea to start this soon… however, Monday for sure, and I will already have a plan before I begin… do not worry)

Dinner…

buckbeakthehippogriff — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:06:33 +0000

Tonight I had two crustini’s and a glass of water. I’m also going to eat a slice of watermelon, nature’s candy.

Snacks, so far…

buckbeakthehippogriff — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:05:46 +0000

Today I’ve had a couple of chocolate covered granola bars. A chocolate chip cookie. A glass of lemonade.

Lunch Time…

buckbeakthehippogriff — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 18:25:42 +0000

So for lunch I had a garden salad, a small quesadilla, and a glass of water. We went to Jack Astor’s for lunch and I was proud of myself. No dessert! Back to class…

So Breakfast Time is here…

buckbeakthehippogriff — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 10:07:10 +0000

This morning I had a piece of toast with peanut butter, a nectarine, and a big glass of water.

Well the Verdict is in…

buckbeakthehippogriff — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 22:57:59 +0000

Today, this morning, I finally did an official weigh-in. I’m at 208.6 pounds. Overall, I guess I’m very close to where I expected to be… well, if I’m being honest, I thought it would be a lot more then that based on my Ben and Jerry’s binge. My current goal is to be at 206.0 next Monday. I’m going to weigh myself daily to try and keep some perspective on the matter. Well, actually to keep my eye on the enemy, but basically its the same difference.

So I said yesterday that I was going to explain what my particular challenges were going to be…

1. Exercise. I don’t like to exercise. Sweating is almost as gross as being fat. It is boring. Team sports immediatly identify the least coordinated person and draw attention to them. They take up time when something more fun could be done. And all of the most fun ones are not nearly intensive enough to help someone loose 7o pounds. However, exercise is the number one thing that is going to help me get healthy, so I’m going to have to get over it. Expect future griping.

2. Food. All of the super tasty ones are obcenely tasty and fattening, and many of the healthy ones are less so. I know that some people may find eggplant to be their favorite flavour god, but in my world the words egg and plant shouldn’t go together. In addition, often to make healthy things taste exciting, one needs to add things that bring that meal to the dark side of the force. However, I know that I am going to have to make healthier choices going forward, and so I am going to have to either find the flavour in the celery, or sacrificy something. A shorter life is not worth 3 scoops of ice cream, even if in the shorter term it feels like it.

3. Cooking. Now if you are a magic gormet cook from the planet Zolatar, with incredible flair, then this is likely not a challenge for you. However, if you are a BFL (big fat librarian) who would rather be reading a book, playing with the cat, talking to the canary, socializing, staring at the wall, getting a full-frontal lobotomy, it is not your activity of choice. I’ve started canning so that is a beginning, but it needs to translate into the full on meal realm.

4. Diet Products. I refuse, out of principle, to eat diet products. For one reason, anytime I have done so in the past I was unsatisfied, and ate more. Secondly, they usually replace fat with calories, which is not really much of a solution. And they often taste very unpleasant. So I’m going to have to do this without the help of artificial sweetners and the like.

5. Diets. Throughout my time I have tried several diets. They have all failed. Even some of the more reputable ones don’t actually teach you to eat healthy, normally. Counting points, constant measuring don’t always work, and its easy to stop once the weight is lost. I want to make real lifestyle changes, not temporary solutions! The evil rebounding yo-yo stops here. Healthy food choices and exercise are going to have to do it…

6. Water. Boring. Can’t do much about that. Will drink more. ’Nough said.

So tomorrow I am going to start setting my first lifestyle changing goals. I predict H2O, exercise, and fruit may be on the list. We’ll just see. Until then…

The Start of a Journey

buckbeakthehippogriff — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 06:03:14 +0000

Well, you might be asking yourself what do “big fat” and “librarian” have do with each other… unfortunately, that would be me. I’m currently a student that is in the process of becoming a librarian. In 5.5 months I will be done school, and looking for a job. I love everything that has to do with being a librarian. Books, people, lending, old buildings, organization, and fun. I hate everything that has to do with being fat. That would be: a big gut that rolls over your pants, feeling like there is a two inch layer of insulation around my entire body, the 800 pounds of boob I carry around, huffing and puffing going up stairs, shopping etc. You are likely getting the picture.

I have been over weight for quite awhile, and it really creeped up on me over the years. When I was 19 years old I was around 125 pounds… I am now 29, very soon to be 30, and I’m, well tomorrow is D-day for confirming the current weight, but last time I checked it was around 208 (my height is 5’5” to put it in context). Yuck. When I type that, I realize just how gross that is… A few months ago I went on a family vacation to South Korea, and my weight almost left me stuck at the bottom of one of the Infiltration Tunnels at the DMZ… not cool. Fortunately, after 45 minutes of trudging (there is no way else to describe it, I trudged up the hill) I made it out, but I was drenched in sweat, exhasted, embarassed and kind of angry. I don’t want to be that feeble. Over the last few months I have tried getting more exercise, but my schedule as a grad student has made that increasingly difficult. However, the threat of high blood pressure kept me going. Although I have worked on my activity level (still not high enough, but effort ahs been made), my eating habits are atrocious.

So here is the thing. I am lactose intolerant, chocolate intolerant, have rosacea (which means that everything else evil I shouldn’t eat because it shows on my face), but I am addicted to bad food. Now addiction isn’t the right word, because in reality I could stop. But for too many years I have chosen to “eat my feelings” as the saying goes. The two biggest culprit emotions are bordem and guilt, but stress in any capacity is a big one. It became apparent to me how bad my habits had become when on Friday night I ate not 1 but 2 Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream containers by myself. Well, it was more like 1.5, but that doesn’t make it any less disgusting. Ever since then my stomach hasn’t been right, and although I haven’t gotten sick, I can feel it in the mail.

So I’ve decided to take a stand. For my health and sanity sake. Food, we are at the OK Corral and its going to be a bloody shootout, but it’s one I’m going to win. Exercise, you are my wing man, and I intend to get myself in shape. Will Power, damn it, you must make an appearance if this is going to work. Creativity, I’m going to need your inspiration if I’m going to get myself out of this jam.

Tomorrow I will do the morning weigh in… gross, and then I will outline my most difficult challenges in meeting this goal. Until then. Ciao!